Simple Ways To Teach Body Consent to Our Children
Body Consent. It’s one of the most mindful yet almost considered as an afterthought in the unending things that we ought to teach to our kids from a young age. We all want our kids to grow up feeling empowered to say no when they’re being mistreated, to listen to their bodies, and that their voice, no matter how little they are, can be heard.
The good news is, we can incorporate consent in some of our simple everyday routines with our kids. Without further ado, let’s dive into those simple ways where we can start to empower our kids about consent.
1. Honouring their ‘nos’ and their ‘stops’.
Who knew that our kids’ sometimes unending streaks of saying ‘no’ could come in handy at times. For our kids to be empowered that their voice can be heard, we can start with validating their ‘nos’. If we always tend to ignore their nos, how can they at least attempt to raise their ‘Nos’ when the bad stuff happens to them?
This doesn’t mean that we begin to accept every NO that comes out of their mouths. But it can be implemented when it comes to their bodies. We can accept their Nos when people are requesting hugs (yes even to us, as parents, or even close family). Same with tickling them, when they say ‘stop’, we need to immediately honor those stops. Just because they’re laughing doesn’t completely mean they’re enjoying it.
2. Labeling their body parts AS IT IS.
Real tough talk: the reason why young kids are unable to really ask for help when they’re being abused, is because they don’t know how to explain even at least where they were touched or what was touched. Abusers would use these childish code names and make the kids feel that what they’re doing is completely normal.
A simple way to prevent this is for us to stop saying ‘flower’ or ‘bird’ when referring to their private parts. Instead, we can use anatomically correct terms for their body parts. This is to avoid confusion, encourage awareness, and empower them to say it AS IT IS with these abusers, or should the unfortunate happen, to explain as clearly as they can. Who knows, maybe our kids can teach these thugs a thing or two about body consent.
3. Reminding the conversation about the bathing suit rule.
Another way for our kids to be empowered about body consent is to actually have a conversation about consent. For young kids, you can start it with the bathing suit rule. Anything covered by the bathing suit ought to be not touched, except with doctors/caregivers for medical purposes and if possible, mama or papa must be with them.
Aside from their body not being touched, reverse the concept as well. They can’t touch other people’s body that is especially covered by the bathing suit. This kills two birds with one stone by teaching them to hold boundaries and respecting other peoples’ boundaries as well. You can start about it even in your own family, with siblings that different genders.
4. Making them feel safe in expressing their emotions.
This has always been key in my other blog posts. Validating our children’s emotions is always a must in respectful parenting. But we must also encourage them to articulate the reason behind their feelings as well. We welcome and accept the feelings, and we also help them express why they’re feeling that way.
If we don’t know the reason behind their feelings, we can at least attempt to let them know that what they’re feeling is ok. Never dismiss their feelings with the little things, dear parents. For if we dismiss the little things, they will think that we will dismiss them also when it comes to the big (and honestly sometimes heavy but very important) things, such as body consent.
5. Acknowledging that they know their body best.
Young kids are honestly so much more attuned with their bodies more so than us adults. That’s why when they feel upset, it results in explosive behavior of emotions. When they’re not hungry, they literally won’t eat that much. When they’re sleepy, they’ll express it in crankiness and other forms of signals to us to help them to fall asleep.
Some simple ways for us to acknowledge that they know their body best is to encourage risky play. And when they do fall down, we simply ask them if they’re ok, to listen to their body, and tell us where it hurts. Another way is to encourage them to listen to their hunger (or fullness) cues. If they are full and don’t want to eat anymore, we acknowledge and accept that.
And that is it, dear parent. This is honestly a heavy topic for me to even attempt to discuss. Yet I feel that it is oh so important as well. One incredibly helpful IG account that raised my awareness about this topic is @biglittlefeelings. Go check them out for more helpful toddler content!
Do share as well if you have any comments or added suggestions for this topic. Other helpful blog posts you can find about respectful parenting can be found below:
5 Simple Ways to Begin Respectful Parenting in Your Home
7 Steps to Handle Your Toddler’s Big Feelings
What To Do When You’re Questioning Your Approach To Discipline
As always, cheering for you in this parenting journey we have together.
Kristine
