A Young Mom’s Open Letter to Her Friends She Haven’t Kept in Touch With
Dear friend,
It’s been so long, hasn’t it? I can’t even begin to count the number of attempts you’ve tried to rope me in for a catch-up, or how many of your messages must have been left on read.
You can no longer seem to relate to the stories I have to share, or we can’t get past the repetitive question of “so how’s the baby?” And “fine, how about you?” And sometimes I just have to pause and really think, embarrassingly enough, how are you and where you really are in life.
I’ve transitioned to another level of responsibility and season in life, and you as well, with your own path of chasing dreams and careers, to which we can’t seem to understand unless we are in each other’s shoes. Oh yes, a young mama can chase her dreams as well, but it must be always noted, that the happiness and well-being of our little one will always be our top and utmost priority.
Three things though, I wish to clarify, amidst this seemingly indefinite pause in checking in with each other.
1. You are remembered and are hoped and prayed for happiness. As a mom, I feel like I’ve basically mastered the art of multitasking and the random thought attacks (especially at night, or during those seemingly mindless tasks). You would pop in my head, and I would muse, how you were, your circumstances the last time I saw you, and whether you’re past those circumstances, and I pray that you’re in a happier and better place than where you’re before. Amidst the countless diaper changes, sleep deprivation, and anxiety of winging this parenting journey I’m on, you are in my thoughts.
2. We all go through changes. Every one of us is in different seasons in life, and in each season, our priorities also shift. Entering into motherhood for the first time has definitely shifted my priorities solely on raising my kid well (plus trying to survive each day). But just because we’re in different seasons, doesn’t mean we have to part ways indefinitely. I may be a bit late on the updates you post on social media, or I may be left unaware of the milestones you’ve already reached. Nonetheless, trust in the knowledge that when I’m brought up to speed with the news, I’ll rejoice and celebrate them with you, or cry and lend you my shoulder if needed.
3. Thank you for your patience, warm welcome, and understanding. There are a lot of things to be grateful for in my life, my little one being safe and alive in this world, for one. But never doubt that our relationship, despite its lack of communication, is definitely one of those that I cherish the most. Our memories together are what keeps me going and even the small attempts to ask how was I always means a big deal. Cause you know, my whole world has shifted to putting another person’s well-being a priority, and as a mother, my needs tend to get pushed down. So sometimes, a genuine ‘how are you’ is sometimes all I need to be reminded that I’m also thought of.
These days we spent together with our little ones feel so long, and by the time we hit bedtime, sometimes I’m too tired and tend to pass out with my kid as well. But these years are short, and so even more of a reason to spend time with them and soak up these memories until the day comes when our little ones are not so little anymore.
So dear friend, this season won’t last long. And hopefully, you’ll also get to experience this wonderful period of raising someone more precious to you than your life. I’ll be cheering for you until then. Or if kids aren’t in the cards for you, it’s all cool.
Should the time come when we’ve grown out of this relationship, just know that our memories together are still appreciated, and despite whatever reason, we may have to have to part ways indefinitely, I still truly wish for your happiness.
Sincerely,
Your young mama friend
