Finding Joy in the Routinary Day of Taking Care of Your Baby

Social media is a double-edged sword. But more so of a place to be envious of how other people seem to be getting their lives so much together and then there’s us, the exhausted parent who is just trying to survive from one day to another. This post is for you dear parent! From one learning parent to another, I want to share with you some of these tips of how I (try my hardest) to find joy in the routinary (and loooong and tough) days of taking care of your baby:

1. Have your own version of self-care.
Dear parent, we cannot run on empty cups. We are better parents when we take care of ourselves. What our kids need is a healthy, happy, and loving parent, and not one who is always on edge, hysterical, and easily triggered because we’ve spent so much time taking care of others and ignoring our own needs. It doesn’t have to be grand, ask someone (your partner, a trusted neighbor, what have you) to watch over your kids while you simply take a walk outside away from the kids to clear your head. It can be a loooong, uninterrupted shower. A warm and delicious meal. But if you want to go the whole hog, have a staycation where you can refresh yourself and be excited to play with your kids again.

2. Set up a schedule to ask for help.
This is especially true if you need to juggle errands/work/commitment you have to absolutely get done. To remove the guilt of ignoring your child while you get things sorted, try as much as possible to set up a time and date for extra reinforcements to come over to your house, and have the time to deeply focus and work. And let’s face it, the everyday task of taking care of our kids does need all the help we can get. But in the real world, let’s just try to fix our schedules to adjust and work accordingly, at the same time have our kids sorted out and not worry constantly about what they might be up to because we can’t keep our eyes on them while we work.

3. Be free to feel your emotions.
Overwhelmed? Frustrated? Exhausted? Dear parent, you are not alone. But at the same time, feeling way too much love inside of you you think you’re going to explode? Wishing time will just stop so you can stare at your kid’s proud face lighting up? Parenthood is a roller coaster of emotions, but one way to help us not to go into absolute hysteria through it all is to recognize and feel the fullness of our emotions. Especially the negative ones such as sadness, anger, and frustration. This is for us to recognize our tale-tell signs and to channel these emotions into healthy coping behaviors and hopefully, in the long run, will make us become more emotionally healthy parents ourselves.

4. Realize that you’re not alone.
That Pinterest-worthy pictures on social media of an immaculate home, the award-winning toddler meal prepared, and amazing activities to keep their kids entertained? These are all pictures of where they excel at. Social media is a place to post what we feel good about ourselves, but not all the raw and sometimes calamitous stuff that we deal with in everyday life. And honestly? The majority of the time, we are all dealing with routine days with our kids. I promise you, dear parent, you are not alone. We are with you, we see you and feel for you, and we are all just doing the best that we can every day.

5. Form your own version of a support group.
Due to covid hitting, it has become even more difficult to meet up with our relatives and dear friends. But as social beings, we need to mingle with people who understand us. And that is the importance of having a community. Find your community, form your own, if need be. It can be through a parenting support group, reaching out to your childhood friends who are already parents as well, or (dare I say it?) even through social media. If we carefully curate the things we see on social media, we’d be able to find these amazing parenthood communities that could be our source of support. Just make sure that the groups you join are those whose parenting ideals resonate with you!

So there you have it, dear parent. My five simple tips to help you find joy in the routinary day of taking care of your kids. I hope this resonates with you and that you’d be able to truly be joyful in this wonderful season of taking care of your child. The days are long but the years are short. You got this mamas and Dadas! Cheering for you!