5 Mindful Habits for the Busy Parent this New Year
New year feels always comes with the notion of creating new year’s resolutions with the hopes of transforming us into new and hopefully better versions of ourselves. And what better way for us to reach this other than to set up mindful habits?
So from one learning parent to another, here are some five mindful habits that can hopefully help you in your respective parenting journey!
1. Apply the 80/20 rule.
I present to you, the 80/20 rule (or 70-30, 60-40, whichever works). Remember that most days, you do your best to become good enough in the parenting department. You enforce your boundaries, you gently navigate through another tantrum, you’ve served healthy meals for the most part, but you gave in with another mac n cheese. Let that guilt go on not accomplishing everything 100%.
Remember that in parenting, good enough is better than the parenting guilt that robs you of the joy of taking care of your kids. Do not let it hound you and cause you to burn out faster than exhaustion.
And on those days where you’re barely holding it in and trying to survive? Such as (heaven forbid!) the mom getting sick (le gasp). You end up serving not so nutritionally balanced meals, you let the laundry pile up on ‘the couch’, you’ve lost your temper for the nth time with your kid, and you’ve let go with the screen time rule. It’s okay that the dial measures back to 40-60. You can try to re-shift the dial when your head is above the waters and are no longer in survival mode.
2. Clean up in small sprints and automate what you can in the cleaning!
I’ve come to develop some complex in the cleaning department at our home. Messes definitely trigger me and my mood deteriorates proportionately to the amount of messes scattered around the house. One trick for me to prevent myself from blowing up with the messes is to literally leave them be for some time (preferably with my back to them). And then clean everything in small sprints.
I usually do them before meals, and then one major pickup again after the kids go to bed. This is one of the most mindful habits that I’ve done to wake up to a clean house. I also try to encourage and invite my kids to help around with the clean up, but never force them. And as an additional extra help, invest in technology that would make the cleaning in your home easier and more efficient!
Some worthy investments you might want to consider:
- Robot cleaner – to save you the mopping and sweeping
- Washer/Dryer (in-one) washing machine – to save you the hanging
3. Schedule weekly family meetings.
This is a good tradition for your kids to grow up in. And helps build the tone for your kids to make it a habit to report or at least check in with everyone in the family about what’s going on with their lives (helpful especially when they become teens and everyone gets pulled into different schedules).
You can also use this as a forum to raise some heavy or pressing concerns that everyone needs to be aware of. But I encourage you to do so with the mind of purposefully adding a fun element in the beginning and ending of the family meetings. This helps develop the mindset in your family that these meetings are both serious AND fun at the same time. In essence, memorable for them.
Some suggestions on how to begin and end the meetings:
- Singing songs
- Dance party (cause why not?)
- Sharing your highlights and gratitudes for the day
4. Check-in with an accountability partner.
Not only in businesses or studying does an accountability partner help, but even in parenting. But you don’t have to set goals and have your accountability partner make sure that you did everything to a T in your parenting goals. Your partner also doesn’t necessarily have to be your spouse. It can be a friend or loved one who gets exactly what you’re going through.
Having an accountability partner would also be someone whom you can rely on and bounce ideas as to how to face yet another tantrum, or exchange recipes, or really, just for someone to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself as well. Sometimes, just having someone make you feel that you’re not completely alone does wonders to your mental health.
5. Set up ‘special time one on one time’ with your kids AND your partner.
One irrefutable truth about kids is that they need their parents’ (or at least their caregivers’) attention the most. They crave it. And let’s say it again, our kids need it. It helps them to develop their secure attachment, as the famous author Dr. Dan Siegel has said.
For kids, it’s more about the quality of the time you spend with them, not so much the quantity. And it’s the best way for them to remove all sorts of misbehavior. The more we draw our attention to our kids’ good behavior, the more we will see more of it.
Check in as well with your partner, dear parent. Your relationship as both the leaders in your group is the foundation of which you can raise your broods. Try to check in, and find the time to connect with your partner as well. No communication and miscommunication are the root of couple problems.
There you have it dear parent. Five mindful habits for you to cultivate to become the best version you can be this new year.
If you like more posts about mindful parenting, you can find the following articles in the blog:
Finding Joy in the Routinary Day of Taking Care of Your Baby
Areas to Apply Minimalism In as a First-Time Parent
How to Use Praise to Gently Discipline Your Child
Once again, this is your family, and you’re the confident leader of this ship. Take what applies and resonates with you the most from this post and you’re free to leave the rest behind.
Cheering for you in this parenting journey we have together!
Kristine
