5 Simple Ways to Begin Respectful Parenting in Your Home
So you may have been recently introduced to the concept of Respectful Parenting, you’re intrigued, but you’re not sure where to get started. Then this post is exactly for you, dear parent From one learning parent to another, let’s dive into five simple ways you can start implementing respectful parenting in your home.
1. Honor your kid’s ‘Nos’ and ‘Stops’ (when you can).
Okay, this may be a little bit controversial. But really, it doesn’t have to be. One rule of thumb I find for respectful parenting is to treat our kids like any normal human being, an adult if need be. One clear example is that we don’t scold a regular adult if they say no to a hug being offered. We respect their need for personal boundaries.
Of course, this rule doesn’t apply to our boundaries implemented as parents, such as playground time, screen times, etc. But when we can, let us empower our kids whenever they say no, especially when it comes to their own bodies. Like when they say ‘stop’ in a tickling session, when they say ‘no’ to food being offered or the clothes we picked for them, let us honor their nos.
2. Talk to them the way we would talk to normal adults.
As parents, we tend to develop this ‘parentese’ kind of tone and simplified child words that we don’t normally use with our friends, colleagues, or acquaintances. Even if our child won’t necessarily be able to pronounce words easily, letting them know how the words should be pronounced and said would help them grasp the meaning of the word faster.
Our children’s brains are incredibly absorbent. The way their brains are programmed allows them to absorb language faster than in any stage of their life, hence, it is advisable to encourage their language development by simply using the correct word pronunciation. Trust in their capability to learn, dear parents.
3. Empathize and validate their feelings.
When taking a tour to meltdown city, we’re all over the big feelings and tantrums and whatnot. Remember that our children’s brains are capable of only so much at different stages in their life. Emotional regulation is a skill that can only be fully developed by an adult brain, and that is something that needs to be built over time.
So when they’re throwing tantrums and fits, as parents, we don’t downplay their feelings, we empathize and validate them. What we DON’T validate always are their actions and behaviors, their impulses (a.k.a biting or hitting) that they struggle to control. And we help them control these impulses by redirecting them to healthy coping habits.
4. Set up your child’s environment for independence.
If we try to look at the world in general, everything is made more for the benefit of adults. Everything is a struggle for our children, getting to the potty, fixing their own snack, sometimes even access to their own toys. And we wonder why they try to get into things they normally shouldn’t 🥴. Here’s a post of how I prepared my child’s play area for some ideas for you.
I highly recommend @3mm.montessori’s Instagram page for more ideas on setting a prepared environment for our kids. Remember that our children are also human beings, albeit little ones. They deserve the same amount of respect and inclusivity in our homes just as much as we do. Let’s do our best to create an environment where our families can thrive together.
5. Apologize to our children when we take out our anger on them.
There’s no such thing as perfect parents. As humans, we would all eventually lose our cool when we get overwhelmed and unleash it on our kids. But a gentle reminder, dear parent, that our kids are egocentric by nature. They’ll take on the emotional burden in them and build on feelings of shame and guilt, when in fact we adults should be old enough to regulate ourselves.
When we lose our cool on our kids, take the time to sincerely apologize to them. Apologizing and acknowledging the fact that we did something wrong and unintentional not only helps them process the emotions, it also models how they’d need to act in the future when they themselves lose their cool.
There you have it, dear parent! Five simple ways you can begin your respectful parenting journey. Remember though that all of us have our own unique parenting journeys, and you’re entitled to do first whatever step you feel is the most crucial part. Just know that you’re a good parent for willingly trying to seek ways on how to improve your parenting journey!
Let me know in the comments below what tip resonated with you the most. Cheering for you always in your respective journeys!
Cheers,
Kristine 🌸
