Five Simple Ways To Connect With Your Child Today
Tantrums overkill for the day and it isn’t even 10 am in the morning? Maybe we just need some simple ways to connect with our child again. Remember that tantrums are one of the most common behaviors that our child resorts to when there is a need that is often unaddressed.
This need could either be physiological or emotional. And from one learning parent to another, here are five simple ways for you to reset your connection with your child to hopefully prevent your kid from (even more) tantrums.
1. Say thank you to them for simply existing.
Every kid’s dream is to have their parents drop whatever it is they’re doing and pay attention to them. Be it the good or bad kind, they still crave their parents’ attention. So let them know today how thankful you are for their existence in those random pockets of time you have with them ESPECIALLY when they’re not acting out.
‘Thank you for reading your book gently’
‘Thank you for breathing’
‘Thank you for acting so kindly to your sister earlier’
Sneak in all of the love languages you can think of with your little one to store up their love tanks. And don’t hesitate to sprinkle them with the “I love you”s here and there, especially when they aren’t doing anything out of the ordinary. Let them know without a doubt that they are loved beyond compare.
2. Be silly with them and laugh.
We parents tend to bark out orders unceasingly to our kids. From the time they wake up, down to their bedtime routine, we’d have a long list of to-dos for them (or more of NOT to-dos, touch, lick, hit, and so on). And we wonder why they try to assert their independence in a huge power struggle often.
Sometimes, the way we can approach our kids is just to lighten things up. Be silly with them, and laughter always makes a way of easing any tension (or a road trip to tantrum land). And it has the added benefits of catching the kids off guard when we say something normally so out of character and just be silly with them.
Examples: They don’t want to wear their shoes as you go out? “Oh the shoe is lonely as it has no feet to go to, it also wants to go out too. What to do?”
Bath time battles? “Hmm, oh is it because I don’t know where is the bathtub, is it here? (points at the toilet)
If it’s part of your daily routine, even better! The more laughter, the more oxytocins we release in our daily system.
3. Spend at least 3 mins with them and observe what they’re doing.
Remember point number one. Attention AND quality time spent together with them brings home the bacon in preventing tantrums and curving bad behavior. Focus your attention more on the good, the mundane, and that’s what they will replicate more of.
The reason bad behavior is so difficult to curb is that it is what we pay our attention to the most with our kids. Our kids have our undivided attention when they’re causing trouble, hence more of that is what we will see.
When we take the time to slow down and merely bask in their presence, to just observe what are their interests, we’ll get to see more of the good rather than the bad. I have a summary about this topic in my IG post that you can find here.
4. Give each other a non-verbal gesture that shows you’re thinking of them.
Sometimes a non-verbal gesture to show affection is one impactful way to establish a connection with your kid. Especially when you’re in back-to-back meetings working at home, a fistbump here and there to re-connect with them speaks that they’re in our thoughts.
Remember that it is always in the small gestures that matter most. Small, impactful good things compound over time. We’re playing the long game here in parenting. So planting these small gestures eventually helps to build the relationship you have with your kid that would hopefully carry over in the next decade or so.
5. Invite them to your cleaning routine!
If you can’t beat them, join them. Like literally, sometimes we can’t keep our toddlers from following us around and wanting to ‘help’. It’s completely normal, by the way, for our kids to want to be near us as their caregivers. And our toddlers are natural helpers. They normally want to help us with everything.
So instead of fighting it, if you have the spare time, invite them in age-appropriate chores. Such as picking up their clothes, returning them to their drawers, wiping the floor, and the list goes on. You’d know your child best, so invite them where they would shine and set them up for success! Here are simple chore ideas that I give my toddler.
And there you have it, dear parents. Five simple ways to connect with your child today. Soak up all of these moments with your child, as the years go by super fast. Our relationship with our child is built on these small simple ways to reconnect. Hope these tips help you to build an even more solid foundation with your child!
Cheering for you in this parenting journey we have together!
Kristine 🌸
